There is no purpose to this piece, but rather it has been written so that I may organize some thoughts in my own mind. Enjoy if you will.
I had originally sat down to start planning out a screenplay I’m working on. I’m very passionate about the subject, but I will not waste words trying to describe it. The subject is not the subject here. The process is the subject. The subject of writing. Excuse my awkwardly short, blatant sentences, and please remember, this is not for you, so deal with it. I’m sorry.
I had to pitch this idea of mine for a class, and it seemed that everyone enjoyed it, but I don’t know. And now I have five days to plan out a three act structure for it. Five days! But if no one liked it, these next five days will be useless! Right? Maybe not. I mean, it is my idea so they can go fuck themselves if they didn’t like it! Wait, no. They’re technically considered my audience and if my audience doesn’t like it then I’m screwed, my story is screwed, everything is just fucked. They’re right. Wait, what are they right about? I don’t even know if they liked it or not.
I’ll just go with it. I mean, if I really am as good at thinking of a logical, entertaining story as I think I am, then I should be able to make it good enough for them to like, even if they weren’t cheering about the idea itself. Right? Dammit!
I’m doing it. I’ve started planning out my story and I think I’ve thought of some pretty good stuff. But then again, I’ve heard a lot of established writers say that the first ideas that enter your brain are too easy to think of, they shouldn’t be used. I should be more creative. But what if these established writers are wrong, just sometimes, and something that I’ve thought of so far is the biggest piece of storytelling genius since, I don’t know, Chinatown. Or that last Adam Sandler movie. Dammit!
I shouldn’t doubt myself. Doubting myself is the biggest problem here. Aha! That’s it. Be brave, Brian. You can do it. You’re a genius. No, you’re tricking yourself into thinking that you’re a genius. Fuck.
I just realized that the plans for my story were never put down on paper, so now about half of them are lost. But wait, this is an incredible filtering technique. If you never write anything down, than the bad ideas will just melt away from memory, and the good ones will hold strong. A good idea is the one that lasts, right? In fact, most of my ideas so far have fled my brain and I can only remember one, which means it must be good. My main character accidentally has sex with a monkey while he’s blacked out…. I’m fucked.
Maybe I should do more research, get my brain juices pumping again from the excitement of reading. My story is a biopic and has a lot of historical relevance so research is key here. But is it? I feel like the more research I do, the less creative I can be. It’s a “the more you learn, the less you know” type of deal. Wait, that’s bullshit. I can’t just make up random shit about my main character. I have to stay truthful to him, show him a little respect. Do I? Someone back in the day invented something called “artistic license” and maybe I could just turn over that card, you know, take advantage of the fact that screenwriting is considered art, and just do whatever the fuck I want. But no, I’ll do more research, it’ll be a good thing to know anyway, and if something isn’t useful I’ll resort back to my idea filtering system and just kick it out of my brain. By the way, the brain does have a limited capacity, like a computer. Once you get to a certain amount of knowledge, you just get a warning box that tells you that you’re full. Good thing that’s not true, and now I’m digressing and not getting any writing or research done. I’ll go to the library, which is about 26 blocks away from my dorm, so fuck that. I’ll just use the handy-dandy internet.
My computer died. I didn’t get anything done. Actually, that’s a lie. My computer didn’t die. I just didn’t get anything done. At least I’m being honest with myself, I’m not tricking myself into thinking I’m working hard with no result. That’s always been a good side of my personality. I’m honest and hardworking. Now, I have to go take a break because my hands hurt and I’m tired and Adventure Time is on…. Dammit.
Recently, I’ve settled on a tone for my screenplay. It’s probably good to know the tone of a story before you try to start adding comedy to a scene where a six year old gets raped, which isn’t in my screenplay by the way, if you were wondering. I’m not that fucked up. It was just an example. But now that I think about it, that would be really fucking intense. Wait, I can’t do that.
If you haven’t realized yet, I haven’t started my screenplay.